Doing-Just-Fine

The days have been slipping by almost without me noticing.

Days blend into weeks and the weeks are swirling into months.

My husband left me almost two months ago.  It both seems like a lifetime ago, but also not long at all.  Not sure if that makes much sense...

Since then, I have fallen in love with twenty-three different people.  

I fell in love with twenty-three spectacular little people that pulled me out of the funnel I was being flushed down.

I am in the final stretch of student teaching before I am given the two degrees that I have been working on for the last five years.   I had to say good-bye to those children last Friday to move on to my final placement and it dawned on me.  If nothing else, I am good at this.  I am meant to teach.  I am meant to help other people.  No matter how shitty everything else is, it doesn't matter when it comes time to do my job, I am meant to help others.  Even if I am incapable of helping myself.

I am not religious, nor do I believe in fate, but I do think I was meant to be in that room.  I needed those children.  All children are unique and special, but this particular class was particularly unique due to some of the diversity within it, and one child in particular was going through quite a bit of medical issues while I was with him.  I was given the opportunity to help him, meet his family, and aide in his recovery.  His smile inspires me on a daily basis.

Outside of the classroom I continue to  make some questionable decisions.  A variety of questionable decisions.  I think it will require me to leave this area to fully break my self destructive night time rituals... we shall discuss those another time.  Until then, good night.