- Sleep off the bottle of wine I consumed last night. -Check
- Shower and reapply sweatpants/t-shirt and pile hair in a messy bun on top of the head because there is no one to impress today. -Check
- Drink coffee, mope around. -Check
- Binge watch New Girl, mope around. -Check
- Not leave the house or talk to anyone, mope around.
-Check
Tonight was unexpected but was actually exactly what I needed. My phone had been silent most of the day aside from a few depressing texts from my husband so I barely touched it aside from a few quick games of Trivia Crack.
Matt began to text me somewhere in the early afternoon time but I wasn't really in the mood to talk. I wasn't being rude, but hey, I hadn't really heard from him the last couple of days, I am PMSing and pissy, and frankly, I just wanted to mope in solitude.
Finally he asked what I did last night. I told him. Drank solo. Watched a lot of Netflix. Drank some more. Read. Wrote. Drank some more. I told him not to judge me, and he assured me he was not. (I would judge me. I sound pathetic and like a potential alcoholic in the making)
"Well, what are you doing today?" he asked.
-Yeah umm... watching more Netflix. I have become one with my couch.
"Would you like to get some dinner and watch the game with me tonight?"
-Yeah umm... I am not really feeling well, lady issues. and I don't want to take off my sweatpants to go anywhere. (AKA I am pouting, leave me alone.)
"Take out and I come to you?"
-Yeah... umm... I would still have to put on real clothes and brush my hair. (AKA my husband is at his best friends house a few houses down I don't want drama today....but that is a sweet suggestion considering I am kind of being a pain in the ass to you right now.)
"Come on, dinner is on me. And I will come pick you up and take you where ever you want to go."
(I hate driving places, smooth.) -Meh. Where would you even want to go...
"Anywhere you want."
-Yeah... I don't think so. (Still pouting, laying pathetically on my couch.)
"Get your butt up, I will be there in 30 minutes"
-There is no way I will be ready in 30 minutes for anything.
"Fine. Make it 45. Hell take an hour. See you soon."
Had to hand it to him, it was smooth. He navigated my pissy attitude landmines with grace. I still stayed on the couch another 10 minutes or so just out of principle. I ultimately ended up trading my sweats for jeans, took a look at my hair and decided that it was good enough for me. I put a layer of mascara on and called it good. I decided he was already warned, he could deal with the mess.
He pulled up in front of my house and I hopped into his truck. He was the first person I had actually talked to in over 24 hours so I was feeling a little off. I said hello, but I was still being mopey apparently, because he told me that mopey behavior is not allowed and that I was going to have a wonderful time. I smiled a little at his confidence and thanked him for not asking me to drive even though my house is a good 20 minute drive in the opposite direction of where were going. We talked the whole drive to there and by the time we pulled into the parking lot I was already feeling much better. He held on to my arm as we walked across the icy parking lot because I slipped a little and then he opened the door for me when we got there. (It's little things that surprise me.)
He bought me a drink and we sat down. I told him I really wasn't feeling well so I didn't actually want dinner. I haven't had much of an appetite these days. He said he would feel weird eating without me, and I assured him that he could just buy me drinks and I would be fine as we watched the game. He got some food. I was dreading the next part. The lip smacking. But he chewed with his mouth closed. And he was eating chicken wings which even normal eaters are sometimes annoying about. Interesting. He again asked if I wanted anything, probably because I was staring at him. (Partially because I was still amazed at the turn-around in table manners and partially because he is really attractive to me.)
We didn't so much watch the game, as just sat and talked. We talked about everything. The mess yesterday with my husband, my future plans, his future plans, our pasts, everything. It was a lot of fun. He kept commenting on my anxious twitching that I get late at night or when something has me worked up. He wasn't making fun, but was making sure I was alright. He told me that he didn't really care about the game, but he wanted to see me, and it seemed like I really needed to get out of my house whether I wanted to or not. He was right of course. I was wallowing. Wallowing is not my thing typically so I didn't recognize it at the time. I never just lay around and feel bad for myself. I am always in motion. The things I do might not always make the most sense, or might not be the right thing to do, but at least I am doing something!
He asked me if I wanted to go home, and I told him no. It was only halftime and despite the chair being uncomfortable and me having horrible cramps I was enjoying myself. I had already told him I work early tomorrow so he was trying to make sure I got home at a reasonable hour. We continued talking. I began to wonder what exactly this was. Was this a date? Honestly I have never been on a 'date' before. I have been out with guys, but they were always like already my boyfriend and we were comfortable and it was more out of function and practicality of needing to eat rather than just to spend time together. Did I miss this being a date? We are both flirty people, so our conversations are flirtatious often, but he has kept out of my space but we were sitting closely together. He has touched my leg a couple of times because of the annoying leg twitch I do, but aside from that, nothing. Was this just a friendly gesture? Does he know I can't really be causing drama with my husband right now? We talked about all of that and he was surprisingly polite about all of it, he said he totally gets it.
I thanked him for being so nice to me. I didn't realize I needed that today. I think most people would have taken me politely saying no that many times and just accepted it, but he said that he could tell that something was off and that I needed to get out. He drove me home and as I was getting out of his truck I almost invited him in, but instead I thanked him again. He smiled and said that's what friends are for. He has said that to me before late at night when I tell him something embarrassing or am apologizing for venting at him. Maybe we are just friends... who have seen each other naked a couple times last week? So confused. I am not cut out for dating.
He sent me a text a few minutes after he left. I told him I should have asked him to come in because I was thinking about it. He said I definitely should have, because it seemed like I could use the company. I like that he didn't try to make a move. There was slight touching, like holding my arm gently as we walked through the snow, and a few little touches at dinner, but he didn't try to get in my space. He seemed to know I needed it.
So yeah. That all came out of no where. He has grown on me quite a bit more.
On a side note, douche bag Nick hasn't taken the time to check in on me, despite me pretty much disappearing on him Friday night while he was getting high with his friend. He is such a piece of work. I'm dreading having to see him in two days on campus. See how that works? I have had a perfectly pleasant night, with a sweet, funny, attractive guy, who does check in on me, and cared enough to put up with my moodiness to get me out of the house....and yet I'm a little upset that I still haven't heard from Nick. Fucked up.
Anyways. Must wrap this up. Matt is trying to set up plans for next weekend to see me currently.... I must decide now what I want this to be. Or not be.
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